My heart to you

I long to be loved
To feel something new
To know that I'm needed
And wanted by you
To feel joy instead of sadness
To feel love instead of pain
To know joy and confort
And not anger and distane

So I've opened myself
To your love and your trust
I pray for your compassion
For that is a must
Please don't forsake me
Or leave me in the cold
Hold my heart with kindness
And never let go

A love song

Sing a sad love song of a love gone by
Sing a sad love song so I can cry
Sing of sorrow and sing of pain
Sing of tears and sing of rain
Sing a sad love song of my love lost
Sing a sad love song despite the cost
Sing a sad love song sing one for me
Sing a sad love song and set my soul free
Sing a sad love song.

How long

Sometimes life is funny
in ways that seem ok,
but then you have your moments
when that just all goes away.
In all my hopes and wishes,
questions and requests,
I get retarded heartaches,
and pain with every breath.
Why is it so hard for love to find me,
have I done something that very wrong?
Lord, I don't get it
how long for me Lord, how long . . .
All I want is someone to love me
someone to show me they care
I thought I found that in you
found someone who would be there . . .
was I wrong for loving you?
Am I wrong for how I feel?
Do you really love me
tell me what's really the deal?
How long do I have to wait
for you to truly see
how long do I have to hurt
before you truly love me?

Sick and Fucking tired

Ok so this is sort of a rant, mostly due to the fact that I'm fed up with stupid ass people and I need to get this shit out before I snap off on someone and choke the shit outta them.

I'm just getting so damn tired of dealing with ignorant ass people, and for those who don't understand I will do my best to explain. In the last few years I've sat back and watch folks blame society and others for their life's lackings' and mistakes and I've had enough. What burns me the most is I see it mostly from my own people.. and when I say that I mean the Black and Hispanic communities. What the fuck is wrong with you people. Grow the fuck up and start taking some damn responsibility for your own fucking actions.

If you're jobless and living in a run down ass area and can't provide for your family, stop blaming everyone and everything else and start looking at yourself. It's you who have the power over your situation and ONLY YOU who can change it for the better or for the worse. Get off your ass and do something instead of expecting everyone else to do it for you.

I get so tired of hearing "I can't" or "it's to hard" or "they won't let me".. save your bullshit reasons for someone who gives a flying fuck. You can you're just to damn lazy to try.

There is no reason to stay in the Ghetto unless you want to. There are plenty of opportunities out there to better yourself and make a way for you and your family.

Stop thinking you're to good to work for mim wage... its a fucking job. Get off the damn system and try. Stop trying to be some damn balla when you don't even have a fucking job. Why the fuck do you need a $30,000 car when you live in a one room apartment that's rent controlled because you get a damn check every month from the state? Take the fucking bus you asshole and sell that fucking car so you can actually do something productive in this life.

I hate shiftless bastards I don't give a damn if you are the same race as I am. Stop making excuses for being lazy and worthless and do something productive. Educate yourselves, work to improve the community instead of destroy it. Teach your children not to be hoods and thugs, and that being a fucking hoe isn't acceptable.

Grow the fuck up and do something worth a damn or put a gun to your head and remove yourself from society so that we don't have to deal with your ignorant ass anymore.

Maybe I should be President..

Ok so yesterday I was on the phone with a freind of mine and she suggested that I run for president LMAO. Now as funny as that sounds, and as much as I know it could never happen... (one cause I don't have even close to that type of money) I thought for a second you know I couldn't be any worse then these jackasses that are running now.

I mean I actually care about what happens to the people in this country, so I wouldn't be running for fame or title but to actually help.

My first act would be to give congress a huge pay cut and to actually put the money where its needed. I'd pull troops from places I know they shouldn't be.. because being a vet I understand how they are feeling and what they are going through.

As a mother I know I want my kids to be educated so one of my first acts would be to do a real education reform. I'd not only pass a bill that gave teachers more money I'd make sure we had enough teachers in places that really needed them. Not just teachers though books... UPDATED books.

For those kids that live in cities and bad areas I'd make sure there was money to start programs that kept them off the street and out of danger so that their parents could actually work without fear of their child getting involved in drugs or gangs.

On the health care aspect I'd do my best to make sure that it was affordable to everyone in this country who wanted it. If they don't have a job or just can't get it through their job then I'd make sure there was subsidy programs that helped. Or even goverment programs that foot the bill for them till they could afford it. I don't think anyone should have to go without medical treatment just because they don't make a lot of money.

I mean how is a person suppose to support their family if they can't work because they are sick, or their whole check goes to pay for that doctor visit?

These are just a few of the things I'd actually like to see happen with this country and if I was able to I'd change. Whats sad is those few little things right there can make life in this country a whole lot better for a whole lot of people yet it seems they aren't done because the PTB, don't profit from it so its not worth their time.

Get off the net ya ass twat.

Wow I can't believe some people on here. There are some on the net who would like to think they owned it and had a right to dictate how others should speak. There is a person on this site and a few others who thinks they own the Internet. Apparently if you don't behave the way she does and kiss her old ass she gets offended and calls you a blight on the Internet.Apparently the Internet is her whole life and the only way she can make friends so when people don't agree with her she gets all butt hurt. Frankly this is why the elderly shouldn't be allowed on the computer. They are stuck in the stone age and expect the whole damn world to bend to their whim. I wonder how she'd react if she'd actually meet some of the people she loves talking about face to face. I'd love for her to say that shit to me up close and personal.. cause after she got finished looking for all her teeth she'd understand just how much of a bitch I could really be. She likes to talk shit about people behind the safety of her computer then when you come back at her she screams you're threading her. What a fucking coward. Oh and she's got a "lawyer" on hand because everyone keeps making threats against her LMAO. What the fuck ever lady. Frankly her and her retarded ass bridge club friends can suck a dick and fuck off. Maybe if she pulled the stick outta her ass and stooped being such a cunt she'd people would actually respect her a bit more. Guess her husband hasn't dicked her good enough yet, I feel sorry for the poor man... being stuck with such a ass twat like her.

Drunk ramblings...

Ok so I'm drunk as fuck right now so I figured I'd blog. Then it dawned on me that no one even reads this so it doesn't really matter. I mean hell I've been blogging for almost a yr and hardly anyone ever reads or responds to this crap. I'm in a shitty mood cause frankly life sucks major donkey dick. So I figured fuck it I might as well drink. So thats what I'm doing I'm drinking... its like almost 8 am here.. but I've been drinking since like 2am so I guess I'm still ok. I'm gonna keep drinking till either I run out of beer or I pass out. I think I've hit the point I'm just like fuck it all.. none of it makes any sense anyway. Life fucking sucks, anytime you try to live right and do whats asked of you you get fucking shit on.. so fuck everyone and everything. They can all kiss my big huge fat ass and go to hell.